


The Extreme Avenger League

by Hawkingjay



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Dysfunctional Relationships, F/M, Friendship, M/M, School Reunion, Superheroes, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 17:22:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6018298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hawkingjay/pseuds/Hawkingjay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's 8 years since the South Park gang we all know and love graduated high school. Bebe calls a reunion, and everything somehow manages to fall to, well, Chaos.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Extreme Avenger League

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so I wrote the first chapter like a year and a half ago, and I figured I might as well continue the fic because why the fuck not?

_All my life, I’ve expected the strange. Everyone says that’s part of living in a quiet mountain town. I know the truth. I know that there’s a reason why South Park is such a strange town, even if none of the dipshits here will recognize it. I’ve faced several challenges, but now I’m back in South Park to face my greatest obstacle yet: my high school reunion._

 

Stan looked at his phone as he waited in the police station. He’d been there for a while, and he was sure Wendy, who he was dating at the moment, was going to start worrying.

  
“Can I help you?” A police officer said, finally noticing the civilian in the corner. Stan was startled by the sudden attention.

  
“Oh, yeah, um, I’m here to pick up Kenny McCormick.”

  
“Right,” the officer said. The officer looked around his desk for a while before finding a series of forms. He handed them to Stan without looking, “sign here, here, and here.” Stan signed the forms.

  
“Are you going to cover the fines Mr. McCormick owes as well?”

  
“Eh, sure, why not,” Stan said. He knew there was no way Kenny would pay the fines himself. Plus, Kenny was his friend, and friends bail each other out. Sometimes literally.

  
Stan wordlessly followed the officer to the holding cells in the station. Stan thought to himself that it was good that Kenny hadn’t managed to land himself in enough trouble to be in the county jail. The officer opened Kenny’s cell, and they walked out of the station.

  
“Dude, what happened,” Stan asked.

  
“So, did you know it’s illegal to flip off a cop?” Kenny said.

  
“That’s what they got you in for?”

  
“Well that and public intoxication.”

  
“That’s not Barbrady’s usual M.O.” Stan said, with a bit of confusion.

  
“It was Yates,” Kenny said. Stan nodded in understanding, then his phone went off.

  
“It’s Wendy,” Stan said, before shooting Kenny a look that discouraged any sort of commentary.

  
“Hey, Stan! Just checking in, I guess.” She said over the phone.

  
“I just left the police station. It turns out Kenny was drunk and flipped off Yates,”

  
“Who?”

  
“The really angry sergeant from the county P.D.” Stan said.

  
“Oh.” Wendy said. Stan didn’t realize how excluded she had been from their old antics until recently, “Well are you coming back soon?”

  
“Yeah, I’ll just make sure Kenny gets back,” Stan said. He and Wendy said goodbye and he hung up.

  
“Dude, what the fuck?” Kenny said.

  
“What?”

  
“Why the fuck are you still with Wendy?”

  
“What’s wrong with Wendy?”

  
“There’s nothing wrong with Wendy. There’s something wrong with you and Wendy, as a couple,” Kenny said. Stan rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

  
“Oh, Jesus, not this again. Look, you and Kyle need to stay out of my relationships, okay? I don’t comment on the shitload of STDs you seem to be willing to contract.”

  
“Dude, fuck you. That’s not cool.” Kenny said.

  
“Sorry, Kenny, it’s just kind of weird being back in South Park,” Stan said with a bit of a sigh. Kenny put his hand on Stan’s shoulder.

  
“Yeah, believe me, I know the feeling. If you think you hate being back, multiply that by ten, and that’s how I feel. Do you know what’s up with Bebe?” Kenny asked. As self-declared head of the South Park High alumni association, Bebe had called an eight-year reunion for no apparent reason.

  
“Dude, the only one I know who knows what’s up with Bebe is Wendy, and even she has no idea what’s going on.”

  
“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see,” Kenny said, pointedly looking at Stan to unlock the door of his car.

The much-anticipated day came much quickly than anyone in his graduating class had suspected. Everyone from their class had gathered in their old high school cafeteria-auditorium combination, bringing back even more memories of high school. For Stan, it was weird to see everyone that had came back. Wendy had busied herself catching up with Nichole while simultaneously avoiding Lisa Berger. In the meantime, Stan busied himself by hanging out with his old foursome. He hadn’t gone as long without seeing his friends as some of the others in the room had, but it was still nice to see his friends. Picking Kenny up from the police station a few nights before was the first time he’d seen any of them in about a year. Despite the changes that had occurred over the course of their lives, their exchanges felt the same as always, and it was easy for Stan to jump into the rhythm of the conversation.

  
“So, Kinny, still poor?” Cartman asked with a laugh.

  
“Well, it’s more than clear you’re still fat,” Kenny said without thinking. Over the years, their banter had become automatic. It was to the point where Stan knew Cartman was going to say-

  
“Eh, fuck you, Kinny. I’m not fat, I’m buff.”

  
“So that’s what they’re calling it now.” Kyle muttered with an eye roll. Before Cartman had the opportunity to insult Kyle’s Jewish heritage, Bebe took the small stage at the front of the “cafetorium”.

  
“Hey, everyone!” Bebe shouted. The room instantly went quiet. Everyone knew better than to argue with Bebe. “Thanks. As head of the Alumni Council-“

  
“-Self appointed,” Red muttered from the back of the room. Bebe, who had heard her comment, shot her an icy glare.

  
“As the undisputed head of the alumni council, it is my honor to announce this reunion!” Bebe’s statement was met with vague cheers from the rest of the room. She ignored everyone’s lack of enthusiasm. “I would like to open this reunion with announcements from the alumni.” Bebe saw Cartman stand up, and amended her announcement, “I would like to remind everyone that any bans from announcements are still in place, specifically those against fat dickheads.”

  
“Fuck you, bitch!” Cartman shouted at the stage. Bebe responded by flipping him off before handing off the microphone to Scott Malkinson, who was the first in line.

  
“Hi, I’m Scott Malkinson, and I lost my diabetes medicine, so if anyone finds it, please give it back.” The announcement was met with a low mutter as everyone searched the area for Scott’s medication.

  
“Are you going to say something?” Stan asked Wendy. Even after graduation, Wendy’s outspoken reputation followed her. She shrugged it off casually, or, at least, she hoped it looked casual.

  
“Not really. I don’t think this is the place, you know?” She said, absently. She was twenty-five, and she still cared about what these dumb mountain hicks thought of her. I need to get it together, she thought.

  
“Wow, Wendy doesn’t have something to bitch about!” Cartman said in mock amazement. Wendy shot him a look that everyone else thought would kill.

  
“How about you shut your mouth before I shove your ass down your throat?” Wendy growled.

  
“Someone’s on her p- okay,” Cartman said. By the time the whole situation had calmed down, Clyde was up to make an announcement.

  
“Hey, everyone, it’s Clyde.” The statement was met with cheers from Craig, Tweek, and Token, “How’s it going? Anyway, I wanted to welcome an amazing woman back to the stage. Bebe Stevens?” Bebe smiled once Clyde called her back on stage. However, Wendy recognized the grin that was spread upon her best friend’s face, and it was far from surprised. Bebe had planned whatever was coming up.

  
“Bebe, we’ve known each other since kindergarten, and we’ve gone out on and off since third grade. I think the next step seems like the best one on our timeline. Bebe Stevens, will you marry me?” Clyde said, as he got down on one knee. Of course. No one was sure whether Bebe was trying to share her happiness, show everyone how much better she was doing than them, or both.

  
“Yes!” Bebe said, doing a pretty good job of feigning surprise. Of course, everyone in the room had known her for years, so it didn’t really seem genuine. The applause was genuine, though. Wendy even got up to give Bebe a hug as she got off the auditorium stage. For a moment, there was a sense of joy in the room, which meant it was inevitable that shit was going to hit the fan. There was some uneventful small talk that went on for a few minutes, but it was clear that the proposal would be the defining moment of the reunion. Stan walked out with his old group of friends and Wendy.

  
“Oh, dude,” Cartman said laughing, “Clyde is fucked!”

  
“I thought you and Bebe got along,” Kyle said, frowning.

  
“Yeah, but I don’t want to marry that bitch,” Cartman said. Everyone else stopped paying attention when they started arguing.

  
“Wendy, you haven’t been thinking about, y’know,” Stan said, trailing off. Wendy frowned.

  
“Thinking about what?”

  
“Well, um, getting engaged and stuff,”

  
“No,” Wendy said, eyebrows knotting in confusion.

  
“Okay,” Stan said, looking visibly relieved, “I was just wondering since Clyde proposed, maybe you’ve been thinking about getting engaged, too.”

  
“Well, that’s Bebe and Clyde,” Wendy said. “That’s not us.”

  
“What do you mean?”

  
“We’re, um, not as- I can’t think of a good word to describe it,” She said. She stopped walking for a second as she thought. Stan stopped right after she did, and then a few seconds later, so did Kenny. Kyle and Cartman continued walking and arguing, not noticing what was going on around them.

  
“We’re not as solid, I guess,” Wendy said, finally.

  
“What does that mean?” Stan said, frowning.

  
“We’re together because we know it works. It doesn’t work very well, but it works. It’s easy, even though it’s probably not what’s best.”

  
“Wendy, I-“ Stan said, but he stopped. Wendy tilted her head, silently pointing out that his lack of an argument proved her right. “What should we do then?” The question slapped Wendy in the face. She wasn’t expecting it.

  
“I don’t know.”

"Do you want to see if we can get drunk and then hit up Shakey's?" Cartman asked. Wendy rolled her eyes as Stan went with them.

"Can we drop this?" She asked. He nodded, and then he pulled out a flask before joining his friends.


End file.
